Most of us would be completely surprised if our children grew up to be as self-centered as we are, but we are all guilty of it. Children need to know that love and kindness comes from all sides of a situation.
There have been some instances of parents who have been extremely self-centred. One of my high school teachers at a suburban school in the Midwest was a very self-centered woman who wanted her son to be a very successful lawyer. She would constantly berate him for not doing his homework and for being so selfish. I personally remember her coming to school after dark and making him sign in and out of her office. She was very controlling and had very little tolerance to other teachers.
My high school in the Midwest was also a really unhealthy relationship. There was one girl who used to go out with me every Sunday, but one day she didn’t. I remember her telling me that “I like girls, but her friends are really mean and I don’t want to be around her.” I’ve been in a few relationships with girls that were really bad relationships and then I was in a really bad one too.
That’s a really great quote. And I’ve been in a couple of unhealthy relationships where I’m always on the same side of the argument. Sometimes I even end up in arguments with my parents. My father is so controlling and I dont want to be there. My mother is so weak. They are all so dysfunctional. Its really hard for me to live with them. Ive been there.
When you are in a dysfunctional relationship, it’s not unusual for the other person to be the one in charge, the one who is making the decisions and the one who is being ignored. But when you’re a parent it’s different. In a healthy relationship, there are always two people—one who is the boss and one who is the subordinate. They always support each other, they always have each other’s backs. In a dysfunctional relationship, you become the one who is in charge.
The way I think of it, the way a parent feels when they are in a relationship that is not healthy is the exact opposite of healthy. I know this because Ive been there. Ive had a couple of bad relationships in my life, and its like theyve all been the same. Ive always felt like I was the one in charge, and Ive always felt like I needed to do things my way.
In order to feel a lack of control, you actually have to feel like you are in charge. In order to feel a lack of control, you have to feel as if you are in charge. It’s like when a parent is not involved in the child’s life, you don’t feel as if you are in charge, you feel like you are the parent.
In the case of parents, it’s the same. You are not in control of your children. You are responsible for them and you are not in control. When you feel as if you are the parent, you are in charge.
I know this is a really controversial topic and a bit of a rant, but this is just me talking. And I think I’m right.
I am not an advocate of parents being involved in their kids lives. I am not a proponent of parents playing “dominant” roles in their kids lives. I believe in the importance of a good healthy relationship between a parent and their child. I am not a proponent of parents not being involved in their kids life at all.
